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I've had long, drawn-out arguments with people about all of this in the past. The most common reaction I get is one of cold indifference. "Yes? And? This is normal."

Or, even worse, they cite Steven Pinker and some other Whig History nonsense and say "Don't worry, it's getting better".

That's the part that always gets me. The part where people shrug their shoulders and just accept that all of this is standard human behavior at work. It isn't, though. Systematic violence requires substantial, concerted effort. It requires promises of plunder for the victors and threats of execution for those who refuse to be conscripted.

Warfare is not the default setting. Humans overwhelmingly prefer peaceable socialization and basically have to be whipped into violence like fighting dogs. It is impossible to take brief, sporadic outbreaks of violence, such as bar fights or riots, which usually resolve themselves, and extrapolate that to warfare. War requires deliberate, systematic, mechanical removal of inhibitions and the crossing of social boundaries.

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I don't know if you've seen it, but there was a brilliant PBS series back in the early-80s called (simply) "War" narrated by Gwynne Dyer. Most relevant to your point was the episode (Ep. 2) called "Anybody's Son Will Do." It's still available on Youtube. It's how we turn ordinary high school students into killers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_G2u1RrLOk

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Also there is the phrase, what my grandfather was saying - Why would I bother? Why would they go after me? What I did to any of them? I work for German company, why would they bother me?

That was in April 1941. He was dead by June/July 1941.

The Big Shoots didn't bother about Jovan Shobot. But first neighbor, Balaban was the last name DID. He was the one to point the finger on my grandfather and say - YOU ARE SERB, you go to Orthodox Church.

And Ustash took him. He was gone.

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